Screw the Universe

Screw the Universe

Space, the hopefully not copyrighted final frontier.

Out there is a universe teeming with new and strange life, with science and probably magic and wonderment. And out there, in that inky black void, is a spaceship whose crew honestly could not give a crap.

Welcome to the Zdravo. Home to a crew more concerned with getting ice cream than with saving the galaxy, under the command of a federation that grants promotions based on filthy acts performed behind only occasionally closed doors, and captained by a man whose only goal in life is to bone as many lifeforms as he can, a captain who truly wants to screw the universe.

Screw the Universe is a collection of connected short stories:
  • "Fuck the Space Chickens"
  • "Fine and Peachy: The Peril of Dr. Porn"
  • "Save the Brains"
  • "Miranda, Interrupted: The Bane of Private Bloodredshirt"
  • "Stuff Your Stocking"
  • "What Have I Done?: The Dumbassedness of First Lieutenant Duknerts"
  • "Inspect the Toasters"
  • "The Importance of Eating Pudding: The Rising of Private Redshirt"
  • "Fill the Holes"
  • "Here He Comes: A Brief History of Captain Tyler"
  • "Screw the Universe"
Buy it here.

Praise for Screw the Universe
"If you're looking to have a light chuckle or a pretentious snort, then this book probably isn't for you. Now, on the other hand, if you want to laugh your ass off at one of the funniest books I've ever had the pleasure of reading, then by all means buy this. On the first page alone I laughed 3 times, loudly, alone in my apartment, like an idiot. And the book never lets up."
--- Danger_Slater, author of Love Me.

"This is the best book I never read!"
--- Bruce Campbell, Actor, Author, Bad-ass.

"This is chaotic, gory, sex-filled sci-fi bizarro that moves at the speed of, you know, something fast. I burned through it on the last couple of hours of an excruciatingly long flight--I don't think there's any better way to spend your 99 cents."
--- Chris Rhatigan, author of The Kind of Friends Who Murder Each Other.

A top 15 seller on's Kindle Comedies Top 100 List.

A Top 15 seller on's Kindle Parodies Top 100 List.

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